Allow me to tell you a story about fear and the power of overcoming it.
For a while, I was working with a financial adviser. He was preparing for his upcoming wedding while also trying to grow a thriving business. He struggled with rejection and took some time to bounce back when it occurred. During our coaching calls, we would talk about the conversations he had with his potential clients and what he might like to try differently. We were building on his strengths, and he saw headway.
Fast forward, one week before his upcoming wedding, I got a call from him.
“She left me!” he said.
The wedding was off.
To support his forward movement, we had a lot of work ahead of us. He could have chosen to let this rejection define him. He sounded as though he was ready to, early 30’s and he said he was done. Ready to quit his job because he was afraid he would fail at that too and also give up on finding the right person.
As a coach, what was I to do?
I could have been primarily focused on his business results. However, I chose a different approach. During our conversation, I sought his permission and invited an assignment. Go to the mall, and ask 5 beautiful women out for coffee. “What?” he said.
The fear, we were trying to get over was rejection. So the objective was to build up his resistance to rejection. I wanted him to ask and get rejected over and over again. Just as you will encounter when you are offering your financial services to people.
He went to the mall the next day, walked into the first store and saw a beautiful woman. After a few minutes of talking, he asked her if she wanted to grab a cup of coffee. To this day, many dates and 3+ years later, they are happily married. He also has a professional practice that is thriving and that he is proud of. I get a wonderful call from him every now and then and hear in his happiness, “thank you”.
What if he did not take action?
If he wasn’t challenged, how long would he have struggled with that fear of rejection? What if he didn’t take action to overcome the fear?
Imagine if I used only words rather than inspire him into action? His life would look different. What I saw in him, was that he was capable, he was good at what he did and he had it in him to succeed. The achievement of his goals were all in his mindset and willingness to try.
As coaches, we listen, we use words, we inspire action, we invite strategies and shifts to help people live their best life.
Helping to change lives is a privilege. The transformational coaching I offer includes not only the discipline of coaching, it also includes change management and the science of well-being.
His fear of rejection was solved by coaching.
If you are interested in overcoming your fears and are willing to try, book a free introductory session with me on Coachilla.
Jennifer Jimbere is a certified coach with over 17 years of experience in learning & development and co-author of the international best-selling series Dream Boldly I Dare You. She uses her rich knowledge to coach individuals, teams, and organizations to improve their leadership, change resilience and build positive relationships.If you want to work with her, have a look at her profile on Coachilla.
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