As the founder of Coachilla, I go through a lot of material related to self development and entrepreneurship. Last week I read this article by Peter Diamandis. In it he referenced the six basic human needs we all have as described by Tony Robbins. After reading the article I understood something fundamental about coaching. It can help us improve our lives in all of these basic needs. How? Read on.
The 6 Basic Needs
So what are the six basic needs we all have?
1. Certainty: We need assurance that we can avoid pain and gain pleasure
2. Uncertainty/Variety: We have a need for variety, continuous change, and stimulus
3. Significance: We have a need to feel unique, important, and special
4, Connection/Love: We need a strong feeling of connection with people and we need to feel loved
5. Growth: We need to expand each of our own capabilities and capacities
6. Contribution: We need to contribute, and we need a sense of service and focus on giving back.
Source: What Won’t Change in 20 Years by Peter Diamandis
And how can coaching help us improve these six basic needs we all have? Here’s a few examples.
I’m sure most of us have had the feeling, that we have no idea what we are doing or where we are going and how we’ll end up. It’s hard to have certainty of one’s direction in this world especially when there are so many options and external demands. Creating a plan for yourself that is based on your values & strengths will increase your feeling of certainty, and a coach can help you do that.
2. Uncertainty / variety
Conversely many of us seek change to feel better and more alive. To feel like we are growing. Maybe you are bored in your perfect certainty, for example in a steady not so challenging job, that makes you feel stuck. Could it be that you crave for more significance and purpose in your life? Figuring out what change you want can be a great objective for a transformational coaching experience.
We feel significance when we have purpose. Often people hire a life or career coach to find more purpose for their life or career. Finding my purpose and passion was what drove me to seek-out coaching. Purpose can only be found when we truly know ourselves. By knowing yourself I mean you need to know your values, strengths & weaknesses and what you really want from life or work. Finding all of this out is where a coach can help and speed up your process immensely, providing you with tools and exercises that guide you to learn what makes you tick.
4. Connection / love
While there are specific relationship coaches that can help you with relationship and love matters, you should also consider if you know what kind of people you want to connect with? It’s hard to know who you should surround yourself with if you’re not sure about your own values and ambitions. Doing work on knowing yourself with a coach will help. Once you know yourself you’ll find it much easier to find enjoyable relationships.
Unfortunately, very often we just hang on to the friendships and relationships we’ve created early in life. It can be hard to admit that maybe the people around you aren’t helping you enjoy your life or grow like you’d want.
Being coached is ultimately about personal growth. Whatever the dream or goal you want to achieve, or the problem you want to solve is, the work you do towards it will help you grow to someone else than you are now. Coaching will help you decide what growth you want to have; do you want to be better with your family, create a successful career, or maybe be more healthy? It’s your choice and your coach will support you all the way.
When I met my coach for the first time and did an evaluation of my twelve life areas, I hadn’t even thought about the last basic need we have, the feeling of contribution. Once I had assessed all the areas of my life I realised that because I didn’t know my passion & purpose, I was also very unsatisfied with my feeling of contribution. The coaching process helped me align my purpose, values and strengths. Doing this with my coach was key to increasing my satisfaction with my contribution and life over-all. Once you connect your purpose, values & strenghts and start acting in alignment with them, you will feel like you are contributing more to society.
Lastly let’s remember that we do have other needs too, the more practical areas of life such as career, family, money and hobbies but the six above are the basic needs we all have, and if you intend to have a full life make sure that your basics are covered. While you can work on all of this by yourself too, having a coach providing you with accountability and helping you create a plan will speed up your process towards a better life.
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